Thursday, January 20, 2011

Thank God the hideous monster is dead. Time for a sandwich!

I can't believe the creature is finally dead, and lying here motionless on my floor. My God, the blood. It was relentless. Seemingly unstoppable. But now it's gone. I'm so shaken up. The only thing to do is to try to calm down somehow. Perhaps a snack! Yes, I'll just turn my back to the nightmarish dead thing -- I can only assume it's dead, because it's just lying there quiet and motionless -- and go into the kitchen to make a sandwich.

How many times we all tried to kill it with knives, guns, razor wire, pitchforks, napalm, dynamite, and that compressed air canister. Seems strange that I was able to fell it with a salad fork. So many of my friends are gone! Jim and Sally! Norman, who lost both arms and went to his death convulsing in shock! Tony! Poor, gibbering, melting, faceless Tony! But my troubles are over. The monster is back there, lying very still, in my hallway.

Huh. It seemed further away last time I glanced.

But that must be my mind playing tricks on me. I'm so wrung out with terror. The terror that comes when something is killing all your friends off, and you try and try to kill it, only nothing works. They have spicy mustard here! I hope that rye isn't gone from when we were holed up in the basement for 48 hours while the creature killed most of our small, idyllic town. It would be a shame. I think I'll just stand here in the kitchen facing away from the hall pulling out items for my meal. I am going to take my time and prepare a really good snack. Then when I am done I will dismember the creature, and maybe burn it and bury the ashes so that it never ever bothers us again. But right now I need to relax a bit, and let my guard down. After all, it's dead.

Hey, pimento loaf!
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