Tuesday, December 18, 2012
A Message To The NRA From Robert E. Lee
Totally did it. We took that little notion about as far as it could go. How do I know this? Because I'm the poor son of a bitch who tried it. And as they say, things went south.
What do you think the Confederacy was? It was the largest, most well-organized American militia group that ever tried to take on the US military. And they went after us like a pack of pitbulls going through an old folks home. It was not pretty. And when your time comes, you and your camping buddies from the real estate firm are not going to last anywhere near as long as we did, okay? You'll get a million views on YouTube, they'll pop you into a federal prison, and nothing will be any different.
Why does this matter? Because a main argument you gun nuts use to fend off regulation is that you act as a powerful check on tyranny. You do not. I know it, the feds know it, and even you know it, deep down.
Right now there are rightwingers filming TSA agents and sending it to Drudge. There are leftwingers tracking CIA black sites. People across the spectrum are hassling their representatives and planning demonstrations. Many of these actions are pretty pitiful to be honest. But all of them are much more effective than your stupid game of Weekend Apocalypse. You might as well become Civil War reenactors. And believe me, admitting that is unspeakably painful.
Stop playing soldier, stop preventing common sense gun control laws, and take some responsibility for your government.
And by the way, NASCAR sucks, Carolina barbecue is overrated, and Lynrd Skynyrd are from Florida, which isn't even part of the South. I'm done here.