How are ya? We're the White People. You've probably heard about this recent election, haven't you? It's got us completely worried. Pundits have been talking about the changing demographics of the country - about how it gave Barack Obama an edge, and how the Republican base is shrinking.
This fact will terrify you: In 2008 white voters made up 74 percent of the electorate. This year that number plunged to 72 percent.
Do you know what this means for the country? For the future of our Republic? That means that white people, while still controlling all the stuff, will have to increasingly rely on getting support from people who aren't white at all.
We won't be able to have a party led by guys who secretly support the Confederacy anymore. We're going to have to learn some goddamn Spanish instead of just yelling louder and more slowly. We're really, really going to have to watch what we say about deporting people. And even when we run another Republican presidential candidate... it will never be the same kind of Republican. The kind who is so white his glare is visible from space.
It's like we don't even know this country anymore. Sure we've got a lock on Congress, the state capitols, the Supreme Court, and the biggest, most powerful companies. But now we don't always get exactly what we want. Now we have to ask first.
We sometimes have to ask first. What the fuck is happening to America?
Barack Obama built a radical, hyper-partisan coalition of African Americans, Hispanics, Asians, and white people. Mitt Romney tried to build a moderate, inclusive group of white people, plus folks who voted for white people or worked for them and maybe got threatened with firing if they didn't vote Republican. But you can't do that anymore. We've lost something precious in this nation. We're now going to have to argue and struggle and persuade, before eventually getting what we want.
This country was based on the idea that everyone, regardless of race or culture, could have equal rights... And white leaders.
Now that dream is gone forever.